My suggestion is stop reading and start soldering. It's an eye-hand coordination skill that you have to master by repetition. As you solder more you will develop a feel for the thermodynamics involved and when you need to pre-tin, reflow, add more, take some away, etc.
My small contribution to overthinking it is to suggest that figuring out the best position for the tip of the iron to quickly inject heat into both surfaces is oft overlooked and, I think, one of the keys to success.
Late to the party, I know. I am a real noob at soldering, missed the day we covered it in metal shop, around '78.
Tried a couple of times last year with the kit I bought that has a basic little 40w Weller iron, solder etc. Found it quite difficult.
I'd seen YouTube videos etc. but still wasn't encouraged. Checked the specs of the kit I bought and learned they packed it with lead-free solder. I took Doc B's suggestion above and sat down with an old circuit board, solder wick and some 63/37 solder. What a difference !
By practicing on a bunch of joints it started to get easy ! The solder had a lot to do with that, but the timing needs to be right too it seems. Looks like I just needed to practice on some non-critical stuff that I can make mistakes on and not be concerned.
Did the hardware assembly on my Quickie today, one more practice session soldering, and then I will finish up the Quickie. Feel much more comfortable with the task, now that I've had some practice. "Stop reading and start soldering." It works.