Oof, that's a lot of questions.
You can connect the drain wire to the anti-rotation nib that sticks out of the volume pot. That's probably easier than drilling an extra hole. Terminal 3 is fine as well, but that's a long way to run a bare drain wire, and it's already a crowded place in the build.
I cannot remember why I earth the load end rather than the source end. You are certainly welcome to try it both ways and let us know what you end up liking! So much of the academic material that would delve into this revolves more around long runs of CAT5 or long runs between components. This isn't really what we are after inside a chassis!
For using different wire, you could do a twisted pair for each channel. That gets to be really tough with the Crack and the wire we provide, as those extra ground wires get tough to fit into the pot lugs, so we just used one for both channels.
If your aim is RF reduction, you could drill a small hole between the RCA jacks, install a solder tab, then put in a small Z5U cap between each jack's shell and the chassis.