The problem seems to occur when there is a positive grid voltage an/or grid current during the warm-up of the filament in EML tubes. Even a tiny leakage current in the coupling cap can create a hefty grid voltage before the filament gets hot enough to allow grid current, which I assume is why they ban any cap that can have significant leakage. Also, large-value coupling caps in combination with high grid to ground resistance makes a long time constant, and the charging current of the coupling cap can cause this high grid voltage for enough time to occur during the filament heating. I don't think there is a problem with 0.1uF and 250K ohms, which is what we usually use - but some amps use 0.47uF or even greater coupling caps.
In my humble opinion, EML is taking their best practical line here. Their tubes sound really good, and there is a high probability that is partly because of the cathode they use. So changing their tube's design would risk damaging the sonics, and the tube works well with many - probably most - amplifiers. They are up front about not using the tube in amps that can damage it.
You could say the the esoteric tubes are find in normal amps, and normal tubes are fin in esoteric amps, and of course normal tubes are fine in normal amps. It's the combination of esoteric tubes in esoteric amps where unexpected problems sometimes develop.