A bearded solder slinger and his buddies entered a bar one afternoon and while ordering cocktails, he notices a large jar full of $10 dollar bills. He figures there must be a thousand dollars or so in it.
" What's with the money in the jar?" He asks the bartender.
"Well, you pay $10 and pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to my mint Alfa 2600 Spyder."
He man looks at his buddies then back at the bartender and asks, "So, what are the three tests?"
"Ya gotta pay first," says the bartender. "Those are the rules."
The man looks at his buddies and before he can say a thing to them, they ponied up the 10 spot for him.
"Okay, " says the bartender. "Here's what ya need ta do.
First, you have to suck down a quart of tequila in one minute. And you can't make a face while doing it.
Next, behind the bar there's a pit bull chained to the fence. He has a bad tooth. You have to pull that tooth with your bare hands.
And last, upstairs there's a 90 year old woman who's never had sex. You need to go up there and take care of that."
After the explanation of each task, the moans from the group got louder and finally the man says,
"You gotta be ****** kiddin' me! Keep the ****** money!"
But after a few gin martini's and some good natured ribbing by his pals, the man reconsidered.
"Okay, I'm game. Where's that bottle?"
He grabs the tequila with both hands and with tears streaming down his cheeks and veins popping out on his temples, he downs the cheep swill with 2 seconds to spare!
The bartender then points to the door that leads out to the back alleyway.
The man complies and a few moments after the screen door whacks closed, there comes a frightful commotion of growling and screaming.
After ten full minutes of this there's silence.
Just as the man's buddies start to go out to see if their pal's still alive, the man, covered in blood with his clothes ripped to shreds re enters the bar.
"So,.." the man says in a drunken slur.
"Where's that old lady with the bad tooth?"
